PARENTING AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - Promising Futures

Abusive partners use a variety of tactics to undermine their partners’ parenting and relationships with their children, from direct violence and threats to substance abuse and mental health coercion to economic abuse to use of systems like child protection and family courts. Survivors of domestic violence love their children and worry about their physical and emotional safety from their partner’s violence and abuse, but often feel blamed and judged by ‘helping’ professionals in those systems. Low-income survivors, who are disproportionately Black, Indigenous and Latinx, experience a more intensive degree of surveillance of their parenting as they navigate public assistance programs, child support and child welfare — starting with a vast array of mandated reporters. 

Efforts by survivors to protect their children may be difficult for an observer to see or understand – for example, harsh discipline may be a survivor’s effort to avoid more harm to the child at the hands of the abusive partner. In addition, parents who experience domestic violence may be reluctant to explain themselves to outsiders, fearing that their partner may retaliate or that others will take action against them – such as filing a child abuse or neglect report.  

Please note – Domestic violence is a complex dynamic in families that requires thoughtful consideration and consultation with others when deciding whether a child abuse report is warranted. Filing a child abuse or neglect report often has harmful impacts that the reporters do not see. Mitigating unnecessary harm to families and preserving the provider’s role as an authentic source of help is as important as the mandate to report.