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When & Where to Seek Help

Are you concerned about your relationship?Does your partner scare, criticize, or blame you? Does your partner tell you what to do and who to see? Has your partner ever hurt or threatened you, your children, or pressured you to have sex? You are not alone. Abuse happens in every culture, every country, every age group, every gender and sexuality and it may be happening to you. No one deserves to be abused or threatened. You cannot stop your partner’s abuse, but you can find help and support for yourself and your children. 

What You Can Do

  • Talk with somebody you trust such as a friend or relative, someone from your job or house of worship, or your health care provider. 

  • Develop a safety plan with your children including people they can call in an emergency. 

  • Put together an “emergency kit” for a situation where you have to leave suddenly (keys, money, legal and important documents, medicines, etc.). 

  • Remember that you are the expert about your own life. Don’t let anyone talk you into doing something that’s not right for you. 

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. 

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE(7233)

Hotline advocates are available 24/7 for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. 

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 

www.loveisrespect.org 
1-866-331-9474 
TTY 1-866-331-8453 
The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline offers real time chat and one-on-one support from peer advocates trained to offer support, information, and advocacy to those in dating abuse relationships. The helpline operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and offers translation services. Assistance via online chat services is available 4pm-2am CST. 

Futures Without Violence and the Promising Futures Initiative, does not offer services directly for victims or survivors of abuse, however many national and local organizations do. If you would like to speak to a domestic violence counselor, contact the resources listed below for free, confidential support. These organizations are available from anywhere within the United States. Many operate 24 hours a day and in various languages. 

What You Can Do

  • Call the police if you are in danger and seek medical attention if you are hurt. 

  • Talk with somebody you trust such as a friend or relative, someone from your job or house of worship, or your health care provider. 

  • Develop a safety plan with your children including people they can call in an emergency. 

  • Put together an “emergency kit” for a situation where you have to leave suddenly (keys, money, legal and important documents, medicines, etc.). 

  • Remember that you are the expert about your own life. Don’t let anyone talk you into doing something that’s not right for you. 

When Do Children Need Professional Help?

Many children who experience violence can resolve their feelings and concerns with the help of a caregiver, other family members and community. However, there are instances when professional help is needed. Consider seeking professional help in the following situations:

  • The child is vulnerable because of other stressful events or losses they have experienced.

  • Parents or caregivers are highly upset and feel unable to respond to the child’s needs. 

  • A child is physically hurting him/herself or others. 

  • A child’s parent or caregiver has been the victim of violence. 

  • A child’s problems have gone on for 3–4 months with no improvement. 

  • A child shows numerous behaviors listed in theeffectssection of this website. 

If you are a parent or caregiver worried about your child, remember that you know your child best. For referrals to programs in your area that can help visit: The National Domestic Violence Hotline or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

If you are worried about a child you know well, remember that you play a very important role!

Where Can You Seek Professional Help?

There are a number of institutions and agencies that provide help. Typically, all offer a specific set of services. Below is a partial list of helping agencies: 

  • Domestic Violence Programs 

  • Health Care Providers 

  • Schools 

  • Courts 

  • Mental Health Providers 

  • Religious Institutions 

Who Can You Contact for Help or a Referral?

Talk to someone who knows your child well. He or she may be able to provide counseling or a referral. Consider contacting the following professionals: 

  • Domestic Violence Advocates:Domestic Violence Advocates can be found in domestic violence organizations, health centers and hospitals, mental health centers, courts, and shelters. They are extremely knowledgeable about all aspects of domestic violence and can help navigate victims through many complex systems such as the courts. Many can assist victims of domestic violence help their children through direct service and referrals. 

  • Health Care Providers – The Child’s Pediatrician: Pediatricians are committed to keeping their patients’ bodies and minds healthy. They can help parents to understand their child’s symptoms and behaviors, address medical and emotional concerns, and offer appropriate referrals. Many providers have a list of counselors, advocates or other resources to help children and families. They can also help the parent navigate the managed care system. 

  • School Counselors, social workers and Administrators: School counselors and social workers are trained to recognize problems that may affect a child’s developmental growth and learning. Administrators include school principals, department heads, and head teachers. They may refer the family to experts in the field of children who experience violence as well as set up teaching, learning, and counseling programs that take into account the educational needs of children exposed to violence. 

  • Teachers: Most teachers see children everyday of the week. Children learn best when teachers can collaborate with parents and other service providers. Since their goal is to help children be successful in school, they can make classroom adjustments that help stressed children learn the material with which they are presented. They often are aware of local services that are available and can tell you how to access them. 

  • Clergy and the religious community: Of course, clergy look out for our spiritual well being. They can help us keep our faith in the face of difficult times and that faith can serve as an important resource when we are worried about our children. Sometimes faith communities join hands in an attempt to end violence. Their goal is to create a network of congregations that are better equipped to respond to family violence. 

  • Mental Health Providers: Mental health providers include social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, mental health counselors, psychiatric nurses, and marriage and family therapists. They help adults and children cope with the emotional experience of violence and trauma. 

Sections repurposed from The Child Witness to Violence Project, Boston Medical Center 

Get Help at the Resources Below:

National Domestic Violence Hotline

www.ndvh.org 
1−800−799−SAFE (7233)  
TTY 1−800−787−3224 
The National Domestic Violence Hotline, operating 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, offers services in Spanish and English, with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. The hotline provides crisis intervention, safety planning, information, and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands. 

National Sexual Assault Hotline 

www.rainn.org 
1-800-656-HOPE (4673) 
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network offers assistance 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. When calling the hotline, callers are automatically diverted to their area RAINN center where onduty volunteers are available to answer questions, provide support, and suggest local resources. 

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 

www.loveisrespect.org 
1-866-331-9474 
TTY 1-866-331-8453 
The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline offers real time chat and one-on-one support from peer advocates trained to offer support, information, and advocacy to those in dating abuse relationships. The helpline operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and offers translation services. Assistance via online chat services is available 4pm-2am CST. 

The Trevor Project

www.thetrevorproject.org  
1-866-488-7386 
LGBTQ young people are four times more likely to attempt suicide, and suicide remains the second leading cause of death among all young people in the U.S. The Trevor Project serves LGBTQ young people with a mission to end suicide among LGBTQ young people and see a world where all LGBTQ young people see a bright future for themselves. The Trevor Project provides crisis services through their hotline, and additional peer support, conducts research, public education, and advocacy. 

The New York City Anti-Violence Project

www.avp.org 
212-714-1141 
AVP provides 24/7 hotline support to LGBTQ survivors of violence. AVP empowers lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and HIV-affected communities and allies to end all forms of violence through organizing and education, and supports survivors through counseling and advocacy.

National Child Abuse Hotline

www.childhelphotline.org  
1-800-4-A-CHILD (2-2-4453) 
Serving the U.S., its territories, and Canada, the National Child Abuse Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with professional crisis counselors who, through interpreters, can provide assistance in 170 languages. The Hotline offers crisis intervention, information, literature, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources. 

Stalking Resource Center, National Center for Victims of Crime

https://victimsofcrime.org/stalking-resource-center/about-us/  
1-855-4-VICTIM (484-2846) 
Victims in need of assistance can call the National Center for Victims of Crime Helpline for information on options, and referrals to local services anywhere in the country. The Stalking Resource Center also provides training, technical assistance and an information clearinghouse. 

National Human Trafficking Hotline

www.humantraffickinghotline.org  
1-888-373-7888 
The National Human Trafficking Hotline connects victims and survivors of sex and labor trafficking with services and supports to get help and stay safe. The Trafficking Hotline also receives tips about potential situations of sex and labor trafficking and facilitates reporting that information to the appropriate authorities in certain cases.  The toll-free phone and SMS text lines and live online chat function are available 24/7. Help is available in English or Spanish, or in more than 200 additional languages through an on-call interpreter. 

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

www.988lifeline.org  
988  
The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is comprised of a national network of over 200 local crisis centers, combining custom local care and resources with national standards and best practices. 

Links & List of all State Domestic Violence Coalitions

Links & List of all Tribal Coalitions

Hot Peach Pages (International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies)

http://www.hotpeachpages.net/ 
Hot Peach Pages is an on-line directory of world-wide abuse hotlines, crisis centers, refuges, shelters, and women’s organizations. Information on abuse is available in more than eighty languages.